ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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