My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize