had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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