Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
