i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
