you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
