It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
