She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
