just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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