I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
