trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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