they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
