You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
As shirtless as possible
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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