Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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