just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
