I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
