I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
