we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
