i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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