I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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