he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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