things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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