I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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