Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
