I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
