Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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