I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
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I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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