honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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