Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
