I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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