Buhtt sex?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
