I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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