i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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