U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In other news, I just burned my penis
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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