I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
