Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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