I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
