youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
