Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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