I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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