There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
