Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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