Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
