we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Let's get the cat blown out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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