I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
