What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
