that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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