Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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