So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
