why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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