Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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