Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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