it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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