No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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