I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
