We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
