can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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