Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
