I accidentally had phone sex last night
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
