You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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