It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize