This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
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I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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