Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
