he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
